That to me was allowing the children to cry, scream, letting them know they can come home from school when they need. Even if we’re grieving, we have to figure it out. We found out later, when we met his platoon, that he’d been on watch on a rooftop when a sniper shot him in the head.Īs mothers, we know we’re the ones who have to put our family back together. The marine told us Jonathan had been killed. ‘Jonathan was due back in September, and by August I thought he was safe.’ Photograph: Courtesy Angel Collins Don’t tell yourself he’s dead.” Another part of me knew they only came to the door for one reason. The whole time I thought, “Maybe he’s injured. My husband and I both drove a hundred miles an hour to get home. One day, I finally decided to take my dad to visit his brother when my older daughter called and said: “Mom, there’s a marine at the door.” I was in the car and threw my phone and just screamed and screamed and screamed. Jonathan was due back in September, and by August I thought he was safe. I never left them home alone during that time, because I didn’t know if someone was going to show up at the door. They couldn’t control the flow of information and they didn’t have anything in place to handle the number of deaths. The higher-ranking officers started telling the marines to stop telling their parents what was really happening. We’re being told to get insurance policies out on ourselves.” Later I read in the journal I gave him: “We’re getting scared. It was dusty, it was dirty, but he would never say if he was afraid. Military recruiters came into the schools and looking back, I think he’d been talking to one.Īfter that first call from Iraq, we were able to communicate more. But school wasn’t his forte and he saw it as an opportunity to figure out what he wanted. I was surprised when he said he wanted to join the Marine Corps. Then when we went into Afghanistan, a kind of cowboys and Indians ideology was out there with the kids. ‘Jonathan was an incredibly confident kid.’ Photograph: Courtesy Angel Collins
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